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🔥 Fake 420 News: The jar of peanut butter Heist (Solved Immediately)
He (Irish) woke up and had some gummies, and at 3pm discovered the jar of peanut butter was missing from the fridge, sparking an immediate and very serious investigation. Suspects included his own reflection in the microwave door, a draught from the window, and, briefly, Irish's own past self from earlier that morning. The case was cracked in record time when he remembered he'd eaten it himself forty minutes earlier while "just having a little look." The investigation was closed, the case ruled "solved, embarrassingly," and a celebratory second snack was opened to mark the occasion. (Fake 420 News: a made-up bit of fun — not a real event.)